The Local Hero Corner: 3Qs for LeClou

Every week, we like to single out a great public servant and highlight their great contributions to Paris and society at large. This week, we're really honored to ask three questions of Inspector Freddie LeClou. These three questions were posed to Monsieur LeClou by email, because he is currently out on assignment.

1. What was your latest arrest?
2. What is your approach to solving crimes?
3. Are there any famous detectives who have inspired you?

1) My last arrest was six months ago. I had the pleasure of handcuffing Jean-Marie Dufour, a boss in the infamous DuFour crime family. I tracked Jean-Marie to a fishing boat in Marseilles where he had been hiding out for the past five years, disguised as a mackerel fisherman.

2) I approach each case differently, but it is my intuition that guides me every time.

3) I come from a long line of super sleuths. The LeClou family has been investigating the criminal mind since the Lumieres era. One of my great grandfathers was Louis XVI's personal detective. He was able to solve a complex assassination attempt on the king's life. Unfortunately, by the time he solved the case, the royal family had all been decapitated. Family legend holds that my great grandfather was so racked with guilt that he cut off his own head. Morality courses through the veins of every LeClou.

Oh, Countess!

Countess De Ville was seen wearing nothing but a strand of pearls and bustier at exclusive hotspot Maison de Fous on La Rue des Riches in Marseilles. Reportedly she was feverishly snogging billionnaire bad boy Lars Von Peebles (between continual trips to the nose powder room). When asked about her deceased husband, she bowed her head, clasped her pearl necklace, and blew this reporter a sombre kiss.

You Da Bomb, Professor!

Professor James Havelot, a British Nuclear physicist has been posthumously awarded the Paris Medal for achievements in science. Professor Havelott worked at the Nuclean Physics Center on the outskirts of Paris for nearly 15 years. Earlier this year, he was found murdered in his Paris laboratory. His brutal murder shocked the city.

Sources close to the family report Havenlott's only daughter, Melissa, was deeply shaken by the events. Last month, however she presented a steely countenance when accepting the award on her father's behalf. "My father was a small, brilliant and hirsute man. I'm honored to stand up for him and for his memory."

Professor Havelott's assistant Ashley Bunsen said, "There is nobody else in this country who knew more about the unpredictable passions of subatomic particles than Jimmy. The world is a smaller place without him."

Donovan Jones puts out More Poon

Donovan Jones has just finished his latest collection of poems entitled Paris Poon. This new book is expected to catapult Jones to the top ten poets of the early second decade of 21st Century poetry.

His latest collection, My Poon, sold over 3 million copies. Jones is expected in Paris for a charity auction this week.

When asked what inspires his lyricism, Donovan replied, "I'm inspired by the real moments that shimmer; the spinach between a stranger's teeth at Hale and Hearty."

Who Grabbed the Family Jewels?

Another jewel has been stolen. A large emerald bracelet was stolen from a Paris jeweler last week. The stunned shopkeep reported the bling's value at over $20k. And that shit's in Euros, too!

Authorities are assuming this was the work of the "Black Panther." The Black Panther is also suspected to have lifted a diamond ring from a high priced Parisian escort last week.

Authorities are refusing to comment.

Charity Auction to Draw Thus-n-Such of Paris

A proposed charity auction is being held at Ze Inn Chez Lake Joseph to raise funds for a local orphanage. The festival is likely to include some of Paris' most eligible bachelors, including Alex Kirk and Lord James T. Burke. We haven't yet been able to finagle an invite, but hoping to get there to take some celebrity pics!

Dwight's Advice